Stream of Consciousness…

DISCLAMER: I sat down today with pen and paper and wrote what came to mind down. It’s not poetic, nor was it done for anyone’s approval; instead it was done for me: an exercise for my subconscious. Read at your own risk, LOL:

Why am I afraid of pen and paper? My handwriting is atrocious, but legible. I type faster than I can print or write. There ain’t no spell check. Why do I procrastinate? I love writing when I actually do it. Is it the fear of failure? Or finishing yet another project that no one will read? I procrastinate in other areas as well, so that can’t be it. Why do I have problems with doing “stuff” for me? I help others, I write for others. But not for me. Is it safer in the dream of success than to actually try to succeed? I need to call Russell back. I’m back, Russell didn’t answer. we’re officially playing phone-tag. I’ve created–for myself–a schedule that isn’t conducive to writing. I work. I raid. I spend time with my wife. And I’m getting ready to take on a second job so that we can afford our own place. None of this is writing. I can’t survive on four hours of sleep anymore. I could give up WoW, which of course is the logical thing to do, but I’ve worked so hard to accomplish what I have in that area if my life: I built a guild back up from it’s still smoldering ashes. I’m tired. I’m sick if people. And now, I have no “space” of
my own, it’s shared with even more people. Why does it cost so much to live? Here? I need breathing room. I miss my wife. She’s my reason. I miss my family. She’s
my family.

I don’t play the lotto, so I know I’m not meeting God, the Great Is, or the Force halfway, but I’d like to win the lotto anyway. LOL. Just have it blow up to me in the parkinglot one day. I won’t ask questions. I’ll simply thank you for the miracle.

-T2

Sir Thomas of Loxley, Earl of Procrastination

So, my wife is in Indianapolis this week to celebrate her brother’s graduation from high school, which is awesome, as he graduated early and is one of the coolest guys I’ve had the pleasure to be related to. I, however, am not there. I’m at home, in California, left to my own devices. Amazing things might happen, who knows?

I work almost everyday she’s gone, and raid “Icecrown Citadel” for three of them, so there won’t be too much time to spend writing, but I do plan on shutting myself away in my office to do just that for at least two of the nights I’m “free.” I’m excited. The one day off I have while she’s gone I plan on watching “The City of your Final Destination” and a few more episodes of the BBC’s “Robin Hood,” which, by the way, I’m in absolute love with. The idea that a show is only as good as it’s villain is certainly true in this case as the Sheriff of Nottingham is one of the greatest delights this show has to offer.

Anywho…

I’m gonna let ya’ll go now, and I’ll keep you posted on how the writing goes.

- T2

…a few days ago.

So, a few days ago the internet went out in our home and I wrote you all the following, I hope you enjoy it.

NO INTERNET = WRITING TIME? SADLY, NO.

My wife is…drunk…intoxicated…enjoying her wine, and discussing male fupas. So the atmosphere is not conducive to creative writing, so I made this wallpaper:

Any-who, tonight was a raid night, but our internet went out–praise AT&T–so we decided to drink wine, watch Glee, and talk to friends on the phone (well, she is…I’m writing to you). Diddy is sitting on the sofa, creating his character for a Dungeons & Dragons game I’m going to be Dungeon Mastering in the near future.

…

Perhaps I shouldn’t have admitted that to the world wide web, but if you didn’t already know, I’m a geek…so, yeah…deal with it. Anyone down for larping?

/clears throat

New subject: Harry Brown opens this week and I’m going to see it on Saturday night after work; I’m very excited. A revenge movie starring Michael Caine, the ultimate revenge movie icon. Have you seen Get Carter? Amazing!

So yeah, I think she’s getting off the phone now, so I’m gonna go. And since I have no internet, I will not be posting this until tomorrow night. So, I’m talking to you from the past, but in the present tense.

- T2

…has been procrastinating

That’s right ladies and gentlemen (April and maybe one or two others who actually have this bookmarked), I’ve been procrastinating, allowing the sorrow of not having solid work in the field in which I’ve spent time and money to educate myself in, to bring me down. But with a new found determination, brought on either by my new found obsession with all things Robin Hood and Black Dynamite related or by a twist of fate, in which my so very often ADD Gemini soul will be tested by this new fervor for the written word, I’m taking up the blog again.

No one can make this happen for me but me, and well…I may as well get on with it before my wife gets fed up and leaves me for a football player or the bastard child of Denzel Washington and Jude Law.

*Side note: At this moment Diddy is playing his electric guitar in the kitchen and singing “Tom is sitting at his computer…” {guitar solo} “Typing Away!”

Mine is a blessed life.

And just in case you were wondering, yes I am not allowing WoW to interrupt my writing; I’m very proud. But hey, I have a guild to run. And, I’m increasingly nervous and optimistic about the upcoming hunter changes that will soon be presented to me when Cataclysm hits shelves.

But I digress.

So yeah, I know this is yet another update, promising more updates, but this time…this time I’ll do it. Eventually.

/wink

-T2

Procrastination has been winning out…

But I’ll be back soon.  I promise.

/sigh

-T2

I Found a Fortune Today

The schedule, is going…I’m having a harder time working out than I am writing, which is okay, I guess.  But I’m not getting thinner, which isn’t.  So, with the first full week coming to an end, I’ve only half-succeeded in my goal.  I must do better.  I must improve.  I found a fortune (from a fortune cookie) in my wallet today:

“A ship in harbor is safe,

but that’s not why ships are built.”

I have to try harder, and I can’t get discouraged that no one is hiring me to edit their movies or even read their scripts.  The best I can get is the internship I currently have, where I’m reading scripts, writing coverage, and not getting paid.

Sigh.

Wait, that’s discouragement…I’m NOT doing that.

I have, however, worked at this internship long enough that I felt I could add it to my resumé.  If you’re hiring, here’s your copy for download.

In WoW News: We downed Hodir in our 10-man Group last night as well as the Northrend Beasts.  Progression! 

More to come.

-T2

First Week Down, Forever to Go

Alright, so I’ve been good for two whole days and have reached my first weekend on this “schedule.”  But this was not the test.  Monday, will be the test, for that marks the start of a full week of working out and writing every day.  God, help me.

We had some friends over last night and we played what I’m sure was the worst game of Texas Hold’em I’ve ever played.  Thankfully, we weren’t playing for the green–had to teach people how to play, and refuse to take your money on a learning day–which is good, because I would have lost a lot it.  It was fun to see everyone though, it’s been a while since we’ve had some of our guests over and it was too long in the waiting.

Today, it’s back to farming gold on my level 80 troll hunter, for I will be spending a lot of this week as we wipe on new bosses in Ulduar and the Trial of the Crusader this week.

More later.

-T2

2) Part Un: Me and My Wii

Today was the first day I participated in my new “schedule.”  My first day of excercising.  My first day on the Wii.  And when I turned the Wii back on for the first time in a while to excercise the Wii Fit Board dancing across my television screen informed that it had, in fact, been 45 days since my last work out session.  Then it proceeded to weight me, inform me that I hadn’t reached my previously set goal, and to help prove it’s point, it called me obese.  I wanted to turn it off right then.  Stupid bouncing Wii Fit Board.

But I didn’t give in to the damn bully on the TV screen–I worked out from 10AM to 11AM–and damn near passed out when I was finished.  But I finished, and I felt great!  Invigorated, as my Sim would be. 

Now the writing on the other hand, was met with a minor disaster:  My computer froze last night, and I hadn’t saved what I had written.  Need I say more?  Yeah, I had to rewrite what I wrote the night before–which isn’t easy, as I had been in a whirlwind of inspiration last night.  So, did I write today?  Yes.  Did I write anything new?  No.

Sigh.

Anywho, I have work tomorrow morning and the wife and I are having company tomorrow night, so it looks like tomorrow’s writing will have to be done in the wee hours of the night/early morning.

Gerrrrrrrrr!  I just realized that means I have to get up earlier tomorrow to get my excercising in.

Sigh.

I guess I’m going to bed now then.  TTFN.

-T2

1) Creating a Schedule

Just a quick update, as it’s 1:37Am and I’m dead tired.  My guild in World of Warcraft raided Ulduar 25-man tonight and though we got to a late start, we downed several bosses and got some pretty decent loot.  Yes, I know that when I play WoW, I’m not actually writing, and that it is, in fact, yet another way of procrastinating.  Baby steps, people.  Baby steps.

I’ve layed out a schedule for both excercising and writing, and here it is:

Monday – Friday: I will excercise for 1 hour, and write for at least 1 hour on each of these days.  Preferably in the early morning.

Weekends: No excercising, can write if I have the time and it isn’t being occupied by the spouse. 

Okay, like I said…a quick one.  Goodnight.  See ya tomorrow.

-T2

To Post or Not to Post

I’m trying to decide if this will be another failed experiment in curing myself of my procrastination, or will this blog, in fact, help light the fire under my perverbial ass.  I have no idea.  But I’m going to make a solid effort to accomplish the following things:

1) Create a schedule, by which to set out a specific, and regimented writing and excercising program.

2) Report to you, the people silly enough to read yet another pointless blog on the world wide interwebs.

3) Hopefully, finish my current writing project.  And lose weight at the same time.

Can it be done?  I have no idea.  But I believe I’m up the the challenge.

I’m a 29 year-old college graduate who has held many a job and has succeeded at all of them.  I am determined and I accomplish the goals I set out for myself.  My problem comes from the lack of incentive, I assume.  At work, I have a deadline, or a boss telling me to do something immediately.  At home, there isn’t anyone breathing down my neck, it’s just me.  And as I’m the kind of writer who loves the finished product, but hates the process–I wish it would just appear the way I have it in my head, right there on the page without having to actually write it–I’m assigning myself a deadline:

4) Be at least half-way through writing my novel by November 2009.

Can I do it?  I guess we’ll find out.

- T2